Blood

You’d think it would get easier. Watching the blood flow from your baby’s body. But in truth, it never does. You’d think you’d get used to it. Watching the nurse, technician, phlebotomist, whoever, digging around underneath your baby’s skin, everyone in the room holding their breath, praying for blood to flow. But you don’t. You … More Blood

NICU Amy

It’s true, there are people in your life that come in, and change you forever. It’s true, even if those people don’t stay there for long. Our NICU Amy was an angel in disguise. When I met her, I didn’t know how much of an impact she would have on me. I thought she would … More NICU Amy

The NICU

It’s infuriating. Having people tell you what you can and can’t do with your baby. Having people say when he can and can’t eat. Having to rock your screaming, starving baby until his scheduled feed because of all the strict rules. But more than anything else, it stung¬†as their words snapped against my heart, when … More The NICU

Max’s Diagnosis

Three days. It took three days for the hospital to get Max in for his brain MRI. All the while, he had sedatives being pumped through his PICC line, only to keep him from clawing at his face trying to yank out the breathing tube he didn’t need. Once his MRI was over, and the … More Max’s Diagnosis

Wolves Cry Moon

The moon shines in through my window at night, it helps me feel like I’m not so alone after all. But it’s not because millions of other people could be looking at it too, and it’s not even because I might be looking at it at the same time as you, but instead, even amidst … More Wolves Cry Moon

Their Souls, the Heaviest Responsibility

The joy of his birth¬†waned, and panic took its place. Since I was a child, I’ve had this spot where worry breeds. Its sickly presence grows, and pervades every bone in my body. I could feel it there, the premonition, the oncoming onslaught. Though in a medical setting, a post-partum, emotionally-impaired woman’s “feelings” aren’t taken … More Their Souls, the Heaviest Responsibility